Welcome, you will read a little about my life here. I write because I love writing, especially about my life 

MMissing y Childhood and Wishing to Relive It

I miss my childhood deeply and long to experience it again because I never truly had the chance to enjoy it as I should have. Now that I am older, I can't relive the childhood moments I was deprived of. My childhood in Syria was extremely difficult, and as a child, life was indescribably harsh.

Today, when I see children playing and laughing, I wish I could become a child again to experience a normal and happy childhood. My childhood was filled with hardships and tragedies, and I didn't experience any joy. I spent my early years moving from one country to another, facing racism, violence, and the constant threat of death. I never had the chance to live a normal childhood, neither in my home country nor abroad.

I yearn for those happy moments I never had. Sometimes, I act like a child and feel overwhelming joy because of it. I believe every human being deserves to live their childhood happily and enjoy a dignified life, especially those who have gone through tough times and challenging childhoods like mine.

I miss the school days and the friends I never got to make because I had to leave school at the age of twelve when the war broke out in my country in 2012. I feel deprived of those experiences and wish I had lived them.

When I act like a child, I feel happiness and peace, but people around me criticize this childish behavior. I don't blame them because they don't understand what I have gone through in my life and childhood. It is unfortunate that many young people and children have lived lives harder than mine, losing their families and everything beautiful in their lives, and losing their homeland just as I lost mine.

Now, I am trying to build a new life in another country that I consider my new home. I have promised myself that I will make up for everything I lost, and I will do my best to achieve that. I sacrificed a lot to reach Europe by land and sea, experiencing terrifying and frightening moments, but I believe this sacrifice is worth it to gain dignity, a homeland, safety, stability, identity, and a new life filled with happiness that compensates for the difficult life I have lived since birth.

I hope to make up for everything because I truly deserve the best, and I also hope that everyone who has lived through similar circumstances can achieve a better life and future. We all deserve to live beautiful and dignified lives because we are human beings, and every human being should live with dignity and happiness.

I hope this article inspires everyone and helps them understand the importance of striving for a better life despite the difficulties. Always remember that you deserve happiness and dignity, and never stop striving to achieve your dreams.

ammar d.b.

7/23/2024

Hello friends, today after we finished the curtains project for the camp in which I live, the project was to make 100 curtains for the rooms. We made them inside the camp and installed them. After that, we were honored with a beautiful gift and a wonderful certificate from me and my colleagues who worked on this project. Frankly speaking, it was beautiful and very enjoyable moments. I am very happy with this certificate. This is the second certificate I have obtained in the Netherlands. It is not just an ordinary certificate or an ordinary paper. It is a pride and I am proud to have obtained it after this wonderful achievement. I put it on the wall in my room next to the first certificate. When I look at it, I remember this achievement and the beautiful moments of Asna. This is beautiful work, and I am excited about other work, other achievements, and other certificates. It gives me energy and enthusiasm for the volunteer work that I do. I will miss the hot chocolate drink that Miss Nina used to give me, hahaha. It is my favorite drink. I also want to thank the administration of the camp in which I live for their support of us. They are wonderful. Very much, they are all wonderful, and their treatment with us is wonderful, and they always support us as much as they can, especially with their beautiful smile. What else, friends? I want to mention everyone’s names and thank them one by one, but this is not allowed, but I consider them my family. Thank you to them in the coming days. It is possible that I will write an article about everyone. I promise you now, I will be satisfied and finish this. The article I wanted to express my thanks and joy and share this achievement with you because I promised to share my beautiful moments and my difficult and sad moments with you \\ I will see you in the next article \\ Note: I shaved my beard and I look different in the picture haha ​​I loved this difference. See you, my friends. Thanks also to[ coa]   

ammar d.b

22/7/2024

Today I want to write about a wonderful experience, frankly, and I am very proud of it. The experience is that we started with a project of curtains for the rooms in which we live in the camp, and today we finished this project, and I am very happy and proud because I was part of this project. We detailed the curtains and installed them, and it was very wonderful. I learned I started sewing because of this project, and I feel very proud because I contributed to making the place better, especially when I was installing curtains for the rooms the residents were in.

We are very happy, haha, and you thank me very much, haha. It was a wonderful day, frankly. There were beautiful moments with my colleagues in this project. I am proud of them and I hope that every person who can improve the place in which he lives will contribute to volunteer work, because it gives positive energy and gives confidence and pride, especially in refugee camps. Volunteering is important. Firstly, to improve the place, secondly, to improve mental health. Before we started this project, frankly, I was in a state of depression, but thanks to the management here, and thanks to Miss Nina, I improved a lot after she invited me to be part of this beautiful project. I feel proud and happy when I look at the rooms and see... I look at the curtains and smile and say to myself, “You are part of this project.” I do not know if I am exaggerating, but it is a beautiful feeling. I thank my colleagues who worked with us on this project, and I thank Miss Nina and the camp management team for helping us, especially Mr. Edwin. I am very excited to participate in other projects to develop or improve the place. The place. I took some pictures for the sake of remembrance. Because I love this type of memory, I want to write about my feelings and this beautiful project. There were beautiful moments, especially when one of the camp residents came carrying a shirt or pants in his hand in order for me to mend them for him. I became a tailor after I mended them. The shirt or something else makes him smile and thank me. I have a nice feeling in general. Helping others is a wonderful and infinite thing. Yes, my friends, I am very proud. I will suffice here even though I feel cold. I am writing this article outside the camp, outside in the open air, and I smell the beautiful trees and the smell of the air after the rain, haha. Wonderful thing, the time now is midnight. I hate the night, but I wanted to write this article because I need to write what is inside me. I am writing this site as my friend and my book, because I do not have anyone to tell about my feeling and my success and what happens in my day or in my life. The important thing is that I feel. I feel comfortable when I write and publish anyway, my friends. I am satisfied here. I will see you in the next article. I do not know what it will be about, but I have a fraction of the words inside me that I want to share here..the end. 

2024

Ammar .D.B😃

In the heart of Turkey, I walked a path of fear and shame, a journey that has left indelible marks on my soul. It was there that I learned to conceal my identity, to hide the very essence of who I am. When asked about my origins, I would dance around the truth, donning the guise of a Turk with my attire and hairstyle, speaking Turkish even with my Arab friends, all to avoid the sting of racism.

The fear was palpable, a constant companion that silenced my phone in public, lest my Arabic voice provoke the ire of those around me. This was not a fleeting moment but a bitter reality, a daily struggle that tore at my sense of self.

I was but one of many Syrians in Turkey who shared this plight, yearning to shed our birthright, wishing for a different lineage. We would sit together, voices trembling with fear and anxiety, whispering our desire to have been born anew, as citizens of another land.

Even now, in a country that embraces diversity, the echoes of that fear resonate within me. I am proud of my Syrian and Arab roots, yet the racism I endured in Turkey has instilled a terror that runs deep.

I dream of a day when the chains of racism are broken, when all are honored for their unique identities. Yet, the battle to overcome the fear ingrained by years of prejudice is a formidable one.

As I reflect on my journey, I am reminded of the strength it takes to rise above such adversity. It is with a heavy heart but a determined spirit that I share my story, hoping that it may resonate with others who have faced similar struggles.

In the end, I'am ammar a Syrian and Arab with a story of resilience. I am a testament to the human capacity to endure and to hope for a better future, a future where the specter of racism is but a distant memory.. 

ammar d.b 

6.yuly /This article was written in response to the difficult racism and ongoing attacks on Syrians in Türkiye this month in particular

Every year the world celebrates World Refugee Day.    This international day aims to honor people who have been forced to flee their homes

 In the camp where I live, a car came and they played Arabic music. This is amazing and a wonderful behavior. Everyone gathered to offer us fried potatoes, a piece of chicken meat, and sauces. Everyone was excited and smiling. It was a simple thing, but most everyone was smiling and happy. Thank you, Middleburg camp administration. The plan and taste were wonderful.  Very delicious and tasty 

   What is World Refugee Day?

   World Refugee Day is a global day designated by the United Nations in honor of refugees around the world, and falls on June 20 of each year.    This day highlights the determination and courage of people forced to flee their homelands to escape conflict or persecution.    World Refugee Day is also an occasion to mobilize sympathy and understanding for their plight and acknowledge their determination to rebuild their lives. 

   World Refugee Day highlights the rights, needs and dreams of refugees, and helps mobilize political will and resources so that refugees can succeed, not just survive.    While it is important to protect and improve the lives of refugees every day, international events such as World Refugee Day help shift global attention toward the plight of those fleeing conflict or persecution, and many activities held on World Refugee Day provide opportunities to support refugees. 

   What activities are held on World Refugee Day?

   World Refugee Day is celebrated each year with a variety of activities in many countries and around the world aimed at supporting refugees.    These activities are led or participated in by refugees. For example, in the camp where I live, they gave us Arabic music, french fries, and fried chicken.  Even though I have not been recognized as a refugee yet, I will become an official refugee soon. I hope so. I conclude the article here and say, “Long live humanity.”  Forever, we are all refugees on this planet. We must continue to respect each other and help each other. 

Thank you, Edwin, for taking the pictures.

Thank you coa 

20/June

Ammar.D.B.

Hello my friends, today I went from Middleburg to Arnhem, specifically to the Rozet Library  We met with a team called de niemanders In order to share ideas for the second edition of de niemanders newspaper This newspaper is unique here in the Netherlands. It talks about the stories of asylum and refugees, their successes, their suffering, and their stories of asylum. Many of the stories you can read the first version on the official website of (de niemanders)

We have shared ideas for the second edition, which will be launched this year, and I hope to offer you something beautiful and convey the suffering of asylum through this newspaper and this team. Thank you for highlighting the stories of asylum and refugees It was a new experience for me, frankly, and I hope to leave  something Beautiful  with them in this version As for me, I will share my story, my journey from Syria to the Netherlands, and the suffering I experienced Thank them for organizing this meeting

Thank you to coa for giving me a free train ticket from Middleburg to Arnhem for attending this meeting and giving me this opportunity. It was a beautiful day and Arnhem was very beautiful. This is my first time going to Arnhem. 

Thanks  de niemanders 

thanks COA 

Thanks sana 

Thanks dullama 

Thanks Rick

2024

7\6

Ammar D.B

Don't  forget to read more about de niemanders 👇

www.niemanders.nl

I hate when the night comes, especially when I am alone. i  think about my family and friends, my future, and my past. The beautiful memories I lived and the tiring memories I lived begin to come back to mind Especially when the night begins, that's why I hate the night, but at the same time I love the dark very much Because I don't want to see anyone or talk to anyone, especially in the situation I'm in now or with those who live around me. When the evening comes, the sun sets, and the light from the sky disappears, the suffering begins and the longing begins The hardest part is the longing that begins when darkness begins, especially for people who made me suffer, made me sad, and broke my heart. I don't know why this feeling only starts when night and darkness begin. It's a difficult feeling That's why I don't like the night, it makes me nervous and makes me sad What if there is a way to get rid of all the memories? I don't want to remember anything It is true that there are beautiful memories and beautiful moments, but the most difficult are the sad and humiliating memories that I lived. They do not go away from my heart. I live them every night. Sometimes I wish the night would disappear from my life in order to stop thinking about the memories or stop missing the person I loved who let me down. I don't know what to say. There are words in my heart as much as the water that rains in the Netherlands, but who cares if the person I love and the one who made me suffer came and read this article and sent me a message and said to me, "I'm sorry." Will his message make me forget the suffering and tired memories that I experience every night? Is this an apology? Or this message will make me happy. The answer is yes. I will smile, I will forget, I will be happy, and the night will be beautiful. It could be that my heart is good or if I am a gentle person. I don’t know, but the most important thing is that a beautiful night passes. This is what I aspire to, my dear. I will suffice with these words, since it is cold now, and I am outside my room, sitting outside, and there is very cold air. I feel frozen. It seems that the blood has stopped from my fingers. 

It's now one o'clock at night, how I hate this time 

Ammar D.B

2024

2/6

.1:00

 Today I will write about a new experience in my life and information that I learned and saw for the first time in my life. The camp administration in which I live took us on a trip or a guided tour to the wastewater treatment plant in the city of Middleburg.The station is located southwest of Middleburg And her name Wastewater treatment plant.👇This plant is one of 14 water treatment plants in the Dutch province of Zealand It is 22 minutes away from the camp where I live via bicycle. Of course, the trip is not beautiful without going by bicycle in order to see the beauty of the roads, farms, and horses that I saw on the farms on our way. I also saw really beautiful cows, but they were sad, which caught my eye, haha It's a really beautiful sight. Let me continue My role in this trip was to be the translator from English to Arabic., I was able to translate everything. Or we can say that I tried, I was a little shy and confused, but things went well When we arrived, we were greeted by two nice ladies. I'm sorry I couldn't remember their names, as Dutch names are a little difficult, haha.They are very nice. They received us with a smile and welcomed us very much. They gave us information before the guided tour began about the place and how to treat water. They also did an experiment. The first time I saw it, it was amazing. The experience was about how much Yasir throws tissues in the bathroom or throws them in sewage places. This creates negative effects on the machines that treat water, and it also affects people. On the expenses that they put on installing the machine that treats water and that separates garbage from the water that invades the issue, do not throw garbage in sewage places. In fact, it is not a good thing. It consumes a lot of time and a lot of effort, while Garbage is sorted from the water Also, after the experience, we went on a tour of the place to learn how water is treated There are many steps to treat water, and they are 1. prewash: bulky waste grid

 Before we can purify the water, we must first remove the large pieces of dirt.  There are sometimes cans, wipes or other items floating in the water and we don't want that in the purification system. We keep that rubbish away from the grid.

2. pre-wash: pre-settling tank

 The dirty water then ends up in a secondary settling tank.  The water contains all kinds of rubbish such as sand or grease.  Sand has the opportunity to sink to the bottom in this tank.  The fat floats on the water.  That is scooped off.  This makes the water a bit cleaner.  A layer of mud appears on the bottom.  We call that sludge.  We regularly remove the sludge from the tank with a scraper

3a. main wash: aeration tank

 After an hour, most of the sand has sunk to the bottom and the water goes into the next tank.  This tank contains bacteria that will eat the rest of the dirt that is normally in the water.  Bacteria are very small creatures that can only be seen with a microscope.  They need a lot of oxygen to do their work properly.  That is why we blow air into the water and ensure that the water is stirred up.  It looks like a hot tub!

4. rinsing: final settling tank

 Once the bacteria have eaten the dirt, the water continues to the settling tank.  Here the eaten bacteria sink to the bottom.  After a while, this tank also has a layer of sludge on the bottom.  After a few hours the water is completely clean and we let it flow into the ditch.

5. collect sludge

 There is still a lot of water in the sludge.  We extract as much water as possible.  This means that little sludge remains.  It goes to the landfill or it is burned.

There are also other steps, how to make energy from waste extracted from wastewater. There are many things that I saw on this trip or this experience that were something new that I added to my memory. It was a happy trip and I benefited from it. Frankly, I thank the administration of our camp for this trip or this guided tour. I also thank the two ladies who appear next to me in the picture for their time and for the information they gave us. Also, I do not forget to thank Mr. Jonathan and Mr. Edwin They are from the management of the camp in which I live. They were responsible for us on this trip. Thank you to them. This is the second trip I go on with them. I will see you on the third trip or experience, my friends.

I forgot to tell you to throw the trash in the place designated for it I forgot to tell you to throw the dirt in the place designated for it, because it is a great suffering they suffer when they separate the dirt from the water.

Thanks.to.coa    

Ammar D.B

2024. 23.5💧🤝

One day I was very sad and tired, and my psychological state was very exhausted, so I went out to walk around. While I was walking and listening to the songs, there was a person riding his bicycle. I looked at him and he smiled at me and I smiled at him. After that, I felt comfortable and very happy. The sadness and psychological fatigue that I was experiencing that day went away. I do not know what happened to me, but what I do know is that the strange person who smiled at me changed my feeling and took us from sadness to joy. Although I do not know him and he does not know me, what I want to express is that a smile is very useful. I advise you to smile in the face of everyone you see on your way because it is a beautiful feeling. I am very thankful to the strange man who smiled in my face that day because he made my day. I completed my day and I am very happy. I did not know that a smile would remove sadness and fatigue from me. I was amazed. From the feeling I experienced that day. A simple smile makes something big. I wish I knew the person, I would have gone and thanked him very much. I wish I had gone behind him and thanked him for that simple smile that made my day.I wish I could thank you, beautiful person, but I thanked you in my heart and prayed for you to remain happy throughout your life. I was very happy because of you. I have never forgotten that day. It was a wonderful day that affected me a lot and taught me the true meaning of a smile. I slept happy that day. I have never forgotten that day, you strange person who smiled at me. Thank you from the bottom of my heart  I wrote this beautiful experience in order to make others smile, even if you don't know them. You can change their mood or make their day. There is a lot in my heart about that day, but I will suffice with this and advise you to put a smile on your faces and the faces of others, my friends. Finally, I thank the person who smiled at me and wish him a beautiful life 

Ammar.D.B✏️🫂

2024/23/5

Today I started trying to learn something new in order to get out of the state of depression that I am in. Learning skills and professions makes you feel proud and gives you a happiness hormone when you create something new or learn something new. Honestly, the one who initiated this thing is Ms. Nina. I thank her very much. Nina, she works with the camp administration here where I live. I was walking around the camp hall, and she and two women were making curtains for the rooms in which we live. I went to see what they were doing, and while I was looking at them, Mrs. Nina said to me, “You can join us.” I told her, “I don’t know.” How do I sew curtains or am I not good at sewing? She said, “We can teach you.” So I said, “Why not?” It is an opportunity to learn something new and also to change a little of my psychological situation. So she and the two women who work with us started teaching me. I forgot their names In the first step, they taught me how to put the thread in place, step by step, and taught me how to control the sewing machine. After that, I started experimenting with sewing the first curtain, and it was fine. Then I made another unit, and it was perfect. She told me Your work is good. You can always work with us. Honestly, I was proud of what they said because I learned quickly, so I started making one unit after another, and the end result was excellent. It made me feel comfortable. Because I am doing a wonderful job, firstly, it is voluntary work, secondly, I am helping to improve something in the place where I live, and thirdly, I have learned a profession that I am proud of. The next week, my work began to improve, breaking and breaking, and the results were better. It feels good for me Especially when someone comes and asks me where and when I learned, and I answer that I learned here in this camp I am very proud of this, of course, thanks to Mrs. Nina and her two ladies . Those who work with us, I thank them very much for this thing, and I thank the management of our camp for this opportunity that they gave us in order to learn, help, and contribute something in order for the camp in which we live to improve and for our psychological improvement. Thank you. I am very grateful to you, and I am very proud of you. What else, frankly, I want to write more and more about this beautiful experience, but I will stop here and advise you to learn or do voluntary work or work that will make the place you live It's better, it's a nice feeling. I'm happy with this thing, and another thing is that they are giving us 14 euros as a gift for this help. I thank them. I will buy chocolate with it, hahaha.Another good thing: Thank you to Mrs. Nina for taking this beautiful photo of me, and thank you also to her for the cup of hot chocolate that she gives me every time we work. It is very delicious. I am grateful. 

Thank you, Camp Middleburg Studio a58 management 

Ammar D.B🎉 

Today I will talk about a person who stole my heart and mind. Honestly, let me call him Watermelon, haha One day, when I saw him for the first time, I frankly admired him. I loved him. I cared for him. He became a part of my life. I began to care about him more than myself. I loved him. I was very attached to him. He was the first person I was attached to and cared about. I get upset when he goes to sleep. I get upset when he doesn't focus on talking to me. I got lost in love with him. Honestly, it's a beautiful feeling. It was the first time I experienced the feeling. He taught me love, or what do I call it? He taught me the feeling of love, the feeling of caring for someone you love, even though he does not care about me with the same care that I give him. His heart is good, but there is a very great sadness in his heart, but I love him despite everything. When I wake up and see him, I feel safe. When we go somewhere together, I feel comfortable because he is nice.Or beautiful, or his mind and thinking are the same as my mind and thinking. When we separate, I feel very difficult because I got used to seeing him or talking to him. I have reached the point where I cry when he ignores me or does not respond to my messages. I don't know what to write about you, watermelon. You are a wonderful person. The most important thing is that you made me experience the feeling of love and care. You made me learn something new in my life. I am grateful and happy, Watermelon. You are my favorite person, even though the distance between us has become far, but you will remain in my heart. Even though you ignore me or I expect you do not know how much I love you and I feel comfortable when I talk to you or walk with you Or when I hear your voice, the important thing is that I know, it doesn't matter if you know or feel what I feel about you The important thing is that you taught me that this is enough. You made me cry a lot and you made me very jealous of you to the point that I used to sleep and wake up 20 times in order to look at the messages I was waiting for from you. You made me suffer a lot, but it doesn't matter, the most important thing is the beautiful feeling that you made me experience.Every beautiful feeling has a price, and I consider the suffering you made me experience a price for the beautiful feeling I experienced with you, watermelon How much I love you. I never expected that I would love you. I never knew. Honestly, sometimes I regret that I loved you and became attached to you because you are far from me now, and this is very difficult. I wish you lived with me in one house and we could enjoy life together, my beautiful watermelon The most important thing is that you remain happy and comfortable in your life and that I always see you as strong. You are a wonderful, intelligent and beautiful person. I love you, watermelon. ...❤️🍉My first love

Ammar D.B.

✏️2024.🍉

Today, a team managed our camp called coa With .Edwin. and Jonathan and maria And people from the camp where I live  Honestly, it was a very beautiful trip. We learned something new and entertained us away from the difficulties we live in at Camp. It is good to go abroad, especially in the Netherlands. There are very imaginative and wonderful places. 

Tall John Abbey Tower

📍 From Koorkerkstraat, Netherlands

Tall John Abbey Tower is a historic landmark in the city centre of Middelburg, Netherlands. The tower is the remaining part of a 13th century abbey, built in a Romanesque style of brick and stone. The tower stands at a height of 73 metres and is the highest point of the city, providing great views of the area from the top. The tower is open to visitors and offers an interesting glimpse into the city's past. Inside the tower visitors can find the Abbey's museum and other exhibits.

We went on a bicycle. The trip was made even more beautiful by going on bicycles, and we took beautiful souvenir photos. I wished that my friends and family were with me on this beautiful trip, but I hope that a day will come when we go again with them. What else? There are cafes, restaurants, and beautiful landscapes in this place. I mean around the church. I advise everyone to have this experience, but do not smoke inside, haha.But Mr. Edvin, who led the team on the way back, lost our way. I told him, “Why did you lose my way?” He said, “I live in a different area.” Hahaha. We laughed a lot. What else was the beautiful photographer who took beautiful pictures. Mrs. Maria is very nice, to be honest, she laughs and smiles all the time, which makes the trip more beautiful, haha Also, Mr. Jonathan was leading the team and explaining to us about the church, the tower, and the area. He was the tour guide on the trip. He is a very nice young man. The important thing is that I thank them very much for this beautiful trip and I know that they are making every effort to put a smile on the faces of the refugees in the camp and make them feel a little happier. What else, I don’t know, but it was a beautiful trip. Thank you to them, and thank you to the Koa team that runs our camp. They are very, very nice, and I am very proud of them, and I thank you for their great efforts here. It should be the second trip to Amsterdam hahahaha 

Thanks coa 

Thanks. Mr. Edwin, Mr. Jonathan and Ms. Maria 

🧡🇳🇱

Ammar. D.B

2024/17/5.

Let's talk today about bullying or how people look at you or what people say about your external appearance or your thinking or your speech for them or for some people. I don't want to include everyone. Do not judge a person by his outward appearance. Do not judge a person by his clothes, hairstyle, skin color, or hair color. Do not bully him if he is a quiet person. Do not bully him if he does not like to mix with people, because you do not know what he has been through or what this person is going through. Do not bully him or speak badly about the way he eats, the way he drinks, the way he walks, or the way he speaks You can simply go and advise him if you care about his situation, but do not throw words at him and walk away. You do not know that this little bad word that you said will capture the negativity of the word in him, and for you it is nothing, but it will destroy him forever. Another thing is that not all people have the same taste or the same thinking, for example ..You do not like to eat meat, others like to eat meat. You do not like to wear tight clothes, others like to wear tight clothes. You do not like to wear accessories, others like this. So, do not judge or bully a person. Every person has tastes, has customs, has a different society, has a different family, and a different opinion, so please do not judge or bully anyone’s appearance, not his appearance, his clothes, or his way of life. You just respect everyone, and if you want to disrespect, just let everyone live as he pleases. Every person’s life is different from the other. Thank you, dear. Negative speech, even if it is just a word, makes a person devastated throughout his life and makes him feel depressed, especially from those who live around him, or it makes him feel depressed for the people who want to get to know him. He will eventually lose the desire to meet new people. He will say to himself, “I don’t want to meet new people.” I hope you respect all ideas and all people Thank you for reading, I wish you a happy life This was written from an experience and a feeling I had 

Ammar. D.B.

2024

Today is April 27th. This day is the feast of the Dutch King Willem-Alexander, and on this day the Dutch people celebrate and wear orange. They practice beautiful activities, especially on this day, and they make orange-colored cakes. These are customs on this day, and there are many beautiful customs and traditions on this day. Honestly, this is my first time participating with the Dutch people on this holiday. It is beautiful and kind. I was very happy with this participation, and on this day I wish him a long and happy life. I wish this country security, peace and happiness. They are a kind people. A beautiful country and a beautiful celebration. I will always thank the Netherlands for everything. Thank you, the Netherlands You also celebrate King's Day in your place of residence

People everywhere in the Netherlands celebrate King's Day. Games and concerts are organized in most villages and towns. Many people wear orange clothes. Because the color is orange It is the color of the Dutch royal family. People also paint Dutch flags on their faces.

During King's Day, people in every big city or village sell their old things on the street. It is an imitation. Many people furnish a piece Fabric and they put old toys, old furniture, or CDs or books on it to sell. This is called the free market.

Ammar .D.B.

27 April 

NL 🇳🇱🎉🧡.

Today I will write about the camp in which I live. The camp is located in the city of Middleburg Middelburg is the capital of Zealand There are approximately 160 people in this camp who live here until they are recognized as beneficiaries of international protection or residency. Frankly, it is very difficult to live here. To be honest, it is better than nothing. I mean, they provided us with a place to sleep and they provide us with assistance amounting to 68.2 euros per week. In order to buy food, drink, and personal items, it is not enough, frankly, but we manage it  Also, there is a COA organization here that is responsible for us in this camp. They are very, very, very nice to us Let's talk a little about my struggles to be honest The most difficult thing here is that the place is closed. I mean, there is no system of rooms or windows for ventilation. You can see that the rooms are a container. Two people live in the front and two people in the backThe suffering I am experiencing is that I cannot breathe while I am inside the container. I mean that there is no natural oxygen, such as oxygen outside or that comes through the windows. Also, the sounds make me very shaken, especially when I go to sleep Although the camp system is a large theater and a large yard in which there are containers in which we live, there is a kitchen, there is a food court, and there is also a games yard, all of them in the same location. This thing makes the place very noisy To be honest, I suffer from snoring sounds at night, haha, it is very annoying, especially since I sleep very lightly. To be honest, from my first day in this place until today, day No. 80, I expect I have not had a comfortable sleep or a peaceful sleep. It is very difficult and for this reason I am in a psychological state and very tired. I have submitted a request to be transferred to another place. But the request was rejected and tried several times but was not approvedIt is the life of a refugee, my friends. I am a refugee. How long will I remain a refugee? I do not know. I now just want to sleep like a normal human being. Thank you.  I do not forget to thank the Dutch government for providing us with this place, health care and everything. Thank you, thank you, from Ammar, the refugee to the Netherlands. Thank you..

The stage of loss of passion, loss of physical, psychological, mental and social energy and loss of everything in this life Yes, this is the harsh stage that I am going through now. I expect many people to go through it. Unfortunately, I am going through it now. I did not expect that one day I would go through it, and I do not know how to get through it. I am trying. I hope to get through it, it is a very, very difficult stage The most difficult thing about it is that you cannot stop thinking I cannot sleep, I cannot talk to others, and I cannot eat and drink Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and say, “You must get over this stage.” You are strong, you are brave, you are great, you are not strong, you are not alone The second day comes and I return to the same stage and return to the same place and the same thinking It is a very painful feeling. I am talking about losing the psyche. It is the most dangerous thing a person goes through. The psyche is very important. It is an important and essential element in a person’s life, but when you lose it, you lose everything. I hope to get rid of this stage and return to myself.I go back to Ammar, who had super strength, big plans, and great goals in this life

18/4/2024 ammar

Day No. 62 in the Netherlands, and I am once again far away from my family, friends, and source of hope Today is the date of March 15, 2024, the first session with the psychiatrist Extreme suffering, a tired soul, and an exhausted body. I don’t remember when I slept well. I don’t remember when I ate well. I don’t remember when my mind stopped thinking that these were tough days. It's a sensual life. I try to be strong every time, but I can't resist Being away from family and friends is very tiring, loneliness is very tiring, and thinking makes me very tired. Sometimes I look for a place to cry, but I can’t find it. Every time I am far from the one I love, I find myself lost and tired. Every time I try to create a future or a goal, I find myself lost. Every time I trust someone, I find that he humiliates me, destroys me, and breaks my feelings I never realized that one day I would wish for an empty, quiet place in order to cry and release my sadness, tears, and negative energy. I never knew one day I would have appointments with a psychiatrist I didn't realize that I would meet the psychiatrist and cry in front of him I do not know how long the situation will remain like this and how long I will remain a refugee. I do not know how long I will live with the one I love or with the one with whom I feel trustworthy. I don't know when I will settle in a place or when I will find internal security Fatigue is killing me and making me very tired. I am in my worst condition. I am broken. I long for death and I envy the dead person for losing life. I no longer have patience and I no longer have the spirit to bear this life or this difficult reality The old man envies me for my young age and does not know what I have been through and what difficult days I have lived through The old man envies me for my energy, but he does not know that I have no energy, nor does he know that I am exhausted and very tired The old man does not know that I wish I was his age in order to know that my life will end faster No one can help me except death The doctor does not know that my treatment is death. The doctor does not know that medicine and words do not help me The doctor knows nothing about what is happening inside me I thank the doctor for trying to help me, but he has no medicine. My medicine is death I'm really dying, but very, very slowly 

On this day there was an activity called walk and talk with nice Dutch people It was a wonderful and useful activity. In this activity, I learned how to introduce myself in the Dutch language and learn numbers in Dutch I learned other things when I was walking around outside the camp where I was living Of course, it was a wonderful day with my fellow volunteers at the camp and also with nice Dutch people 

Ammar 

2024. NL

One of the most beautiful things in the Netherlands is bicycles. All people here use them, young and old. Women, children and men all use bicycles. They are one of the most beautiful things in the Netherlands, especially when you are riding a bicycle. You see everyone smiling at you while driving and saying hello, hey, hey Haha, nice feeling As you drive, you see rivers, trees, beautiful vegetables, clean streets, and beautiful places. Honestly, a wonderful feeling and very nice people. Honestly, I don't make you a bicycle yet, haha But I can borrow my friend's bike while I get a new one 

AMMAR 

2024 

My first achievement and my first honor from the administration of the camp in which I live, I was honored for the volunteer work that I do at the reception center for asylum seekers in Bodel I am very happy with this honor Of course, I thank the organized movement on the ground . I also thank the COA organization They were nice all the time with us . It is a good step. I will work, advance and help this country that provided me with a helping hand I hope to do everything I can to help others, even if it is with a beautiful word or a smile . I hope this country stays safe and happy forever Thank you, the people and government of the Netherlands 

AMMAR 🙏🤍🇳🇱

12 February 2024

I miss my mother and my mother’s tenderness, I miss my mother’s food, I miss my mother’s coffee, I also miss my mother’s smell, I miss my mother’s morning, I miss my mother’s eyes, I miss my mother’s laugh, I also miss my mother screaming at me. I also miss my mother's anger when I made her angry with my actions. I also miss walking beside my mother My mother was not just a mother to me. My mother was my friend, she was my companion, and she was my support. My mother was everything to me. How much I miss you, mother. How cruel life is, mother. You were forced to leave my mother's house. I was forced to go, mother. The distance is cruel, mother. I remember when my mother used to wake up early in the morning to go to the oven and wait for hours to bring us bread. I remember how much my mother suffered to make us feel happy. I remember, mother, how much you cried and how much you suffered for our happiness, how much I miss you, mother, but the war, mother, made us far from each other. 

There will come a day when I see you, my mother, and I hug you and cry, then cry, then cry in your ribs, my mother. I am very tired, my mother, but no one cares about me like you do, my mother. The tears have drowned me, my mother. I hope you stay well, my mother, my country, my friend. Oh my love, my

When I put my feet in the rubber boat, I began to think: Will I die in the sea? I begin to think: Will I be bait for the fish? Will the end of my life be sitting on the shore of an island? She responded to me and told me that she must sacrifice something in order to live in dignity and security The thing I own in order to sacrifice it is my own self. I have nothing else in which I can sacrifice it. The rubber boat set off among the waves and storms while I was holding it in my hands A swimming wheel for survival if the waves overturn the boat It was a scary feeling and a good shower at the same time It's good if I reach my destination alive It would be scary if the boat crashed before we reached the shore I held myself tight, but at the end we arrived and it started to feel good here when I put my feet on the sand It was a difficult and terrifying risk. There were children and women on board the boat There are elderly people Children as young as 5 years old are all going to search for a life of safety and stability How happy they were when we arrived at the beach, not knowing what would happen next What will happen to us after that, but the most important thing is that we crossed the terrifying sea 

Ammar ......

What do you know about a person who lived alone before he knew anything about life? What do you know about a person who goes to work at the age of 10? What do you know about a person who was subjected to ill-treatment in this life? What do you know about a person who has not hugged his brother, father, mother, or sister for a decade, and time is still passing? What do you know about a person who lost his father and could not say goodbye to him or see him one last time? What do you know about a person who does not have the right to be with his family? This person fights life in order to live in peace and security This person lives to secure the lives of the rest of his family This person has a taste of the life that a normal person lives. This person is strong, not weak, but energy is expelled from him This person is me Ammar The one who tries to live a normal life, the one who did not live his childhood, the one who did not taste the taste of childhood or the taste of life, is now trying to live his youth. But until now, I have not been able to live my youth. I feel that I will live my youth like my childhood Until I get old and say, What a very bad life I did not live my childhood there nor did I live my youth there Many of you have a life like mine, I know, but sometimes there is no one to whom you can say these words, so you just write for the sake of memory. Living without family is difficult, especially without a mother. Mother means a lot and means safety and security I don't know that I will see my mother before one of us dies. I will try he passed 8 years, I don't know how much will pass. I hope you stay well, mom. That's enough   

Ammar ....

In the history of 30 9 2023  I entered Greek territory to escape the war in my country and to escape the racism that I lived for 7 years in Turkey, but when I arrived in Greek territory, I prostrated in gratitude to my Lord because I felt that I had become safe and that I had human rights. I began to sleep without worry, without thinking that I would die at the hands of a stranger, because I was Syrian, or because I spoke the mother tongue, or because I was Muslim, or because I was Arab, for example. When I put my head on the ground, prostrating, I thanked my Lord and cried very bitterly because in the last period I have been suffering a lot from the country in which I used to live. When I arrived in Greek territory, I was received by the Greek police, and with them were officials from the United Nations and human rights. When I saw them, I felt that all my le in this way, but for me, this is the first time someone has treated me like this. It was the first time in a decade that I felt like a human being. Yes. with this. I will continue the story when I complete my legal procedures  ....

It was written on 15 10 2023

thank you chios 

AMMAR 

GR🇬🇷♥️

In the history of 3/1/2024 It was the first time I got on a plane and saw the earth from the sky and the beautiful clouds. It was a very beautiful feeling. I will never forget this moment. I had been waiting for it since I was a young child, but my country did not give me the opportunity due to the war that broke out when I was 11 years old, but I migrated, I got tired, and I risked my life in the sea and the forests, and I lived through difficult days that an ordinary person cannot bear, but most importantly, I achieved this dream that I had been thinking about for 10 years. It is a beautiful feeling. I thank everyone who stood with me.He supported me and helped me. I hope that safety and happiness will spread throughout the world because safety is beautiful and life is beautiful. Finally, I thank the Greek state. I wish it and its people security and peace. 

From Ammar to everyone watching, pursue your dream, even if it costs you your life, because the place where you feel wrong must be left 

While I was sitting watching TV, one of my family members called me and told me: Your father is sick in the hospital, his condition is very critical. Things started out normal. I was a little worried and prayed for his recovery. After a few minutes, I received a voice recording from one of my brothers on WhatsApp saying, “Your father died of a sudden heart attack.” Here I was shocked, my nerves collapsed, and I started crying. I went and sent a message to my father on WhatsApp. I told him, where are you, my father? Where are you, my love? I will miss you very much, my father. Forgive me, Father. I wish your soul peace and security in heaven. I wish you a beautiful life in heaven, Father I broke down and became very upset and began to remember the beautiful moments and the days when we were together in one house. I remember when he would get angry with me and a quarrel would break out between us and we would reconcile immediately.  I remember when I used to go with him and accompany him everywhere. He was not only my father, but he was also my friend.  I began to regret the empty moments in which I did not call my father. I began to say, I wish I had spoken to you every day, father. I wish I had called you every moment, and I heard your voice and saw your face, father. I lost my temper. In the end, it is a very, very difficult feeling. Take great care of your parents. They are a blessing from God.  They are everything in this life. Have fun with them, talk to them a lot, make them happy, and give them everything they want. They are a rare thing. When you lose them, you will lose everything. Take good care of them. My father died, and I did not see him. I could not bid him a final farewell, and I could not finally look into his eyes. It is a very difficult feeling. The last time I saw my father was when I left Syria in 2017. It was the last meeting between us.

Ammar .

2022.🍀

I am a big fan of cats, and when I see him I feel very happy Especially when I touch him or feed him or shout to him and he comes as quickly as I expect they will love me too hahaha.Because when they see me they come quickly to me and I feel like they are telling me, “Come touch us, we love you too.” A beautiful and gentle creature. I love cats very much. I raised a little cat and named her Atosi We lived together for a long time, she was nice and beautiful, but someone came and stole her from my house while I was at work. I came home and shouted, Atosi, where are you? Come, I brought you food, but then I realized that Atosi was not here. I searched everywhere for her a lot and did not find her. I was very sad for her and cried a lot for her I felt guilty towards her. I lived through difficult days after losing her. I hope she lived well with the one who stole her from me. I love you, Atusi. I will never forget you. 

♥️🐈Atusi

Ammar

♥️

This was my condition when I decided to leave again to a farther place. This was my condition when I decided and was forced to leave my friends. And about my room and the streets that I was walking along, and I also realized that I would be far away from what I was. I mean, further away from my country, which was somewhat close, but unfortunately I was forced to leave It was a very difficult decision. I do not know how this risk will end or where it will end I decided to leave again after 8 years, I expect after the first departure from my home country I stayed up all night crying and thinking whether this was a good decision or just an illusion In the end, I made a decision that I hope I don't regret 

27/9/2023

Ammar

Hello my friends, this is the first time in my life that I have undergone surgery and finally the moment I have been waiting for since I was 9 years old. I had a mass in my neck next to the vein. The doctor said it was a lymphoma. He also told me that you are lucky that you came, otherwise the operation would not have been successful if he had been delayed any longer It was a very scary feeling the first time I wore surgery clothes and saw blood and hospital equipment Which produces the sound of the heart and body beating The operation lasted for two hours, but thank God it was successful and she got rid of it But not forever. The doctor said that it can grow after 5 years. I told him that I cannot guarantee my life for one year And you tell me 5 years haha Yes, it was a good feeling that I had my first surgery and it was successful 

I thank the doctor, the hospital, and my friend who was by my side the whole time in the hospital 

10/10/2022

Ammar

It was a beautiful party and a beautiful honor. At the same time, it was a difficult year. 2020. I and my friends at work were honored. It was beautiful days that we spent with each other in this company. We learned many things about each other. We learned new things about a different culture, and frankly, I took important advice from my co-workers, who were very smart and kind. I will miss you so much thank you all The Corona virus has separated us from each other, but we will return one day, my friends. I hope you are well 

Thanks LEDER TURIZM 

2020

AMMAR

This is me Ammar. Here I was in Syria, Idlib. I expect it was 2016. Here I was working in the field of car maintenance. Yes. I was 15 years old. I worked very well, and my boss loved my work very much But to be honest, the fee was very low, hahaha But I was forced to work in order to support my family. These were very difficult days, but they were beautiful at the same time. I was among my family. I was eating my mother's delicious food and cooking I used to work from 8 am to 6 pm It was hard and long work for my young age, but I was very strong and could only think, but rather insisted and had patience in order to survive. About a year after this photo, I left Syria because of the war that has never subsided to this day By the way, this is my grandfather’s house where I and my family used to live. How I miss it. I have beautiful memories here. I hope to visit it before I die. 

Struggling 

Ammar 

2016

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