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Welcome, you will read a little about my life here. I write because I love writing, especially about my life 

Ammar

Today, a team managed our camp called coa With .advin. and yeonthan and maria And people from the camp where I live  Honestly, it was a very beautiful trip. We learned something new and entertained us away from the difficulties we live in at Camp. It is good to go abroad, especially in the Netherlands. There are very imaginative and wonderful places. 

Tall John Abbey Tower

📍 From Koorkerkstraat, Netherlands

Tall John Abbey Tower is a historic landmark in the city centre of Middelburg, Netherlands. The tower is the remaining part of a 13th century abbey, built in a Romanesque style of brick and stone. The tower stands at a height of 73 metres and is the highest point of the city, providing great views of the area from the top. The tower is open to visitors and offers an interesting glimpse into the city's past. Inside the tower visitors can find the Abbey's museum and other exhibits.

We went on a bicycle. The trip was made even more beautiful by going on bicycles, and we took beautiful souvenir photos. I wished that my friends and family were with me on this beautiful trip, but I hope that a day will come when we go again with them. What else? There are cafes, restaurants, and beautiful landscapes in this place. I mean around the church. I advise everyone to have this experience, but do not smoke inside, haha.But Mr. Edvin, who led the team on the way back, lost our way. I told him, “Why did you lose my way?” He said, “I live in a different area.” Hahaha. We laughed a lot. What else was the beautiful photographer who took beautiful pictures. Mrs. Maria is very nice, to be honest, she laughs and smiles all the time, which makes the trip more beautiful, haha Also, Mr. Jonathan was leading the team and explaining to us about the church, the tower, and the area. He was the tour guide on the trip. He is a very nice young man. The important thing is that I thank them very much for this beautiful trip and I know that they are making every effort to put a smile on the faces of the refugees in the camp and make them feel a little happier. What else, I don’t know, but it was a beautiful trip. Thank you to them, and thank you to the Koa team that runs our camp. They are very, very nice, and I am very proud of them, and I thank you for their great efforts here. It should be the second trip to Amsterdam hahahaha 

Thanks coa 

Thanks. Mr. Advin, Mr. Yeonthan and Ms. Maria 

🧡🇳🇱

Ammar. D.B

2024/17/5.

Let's talk today about bullying or how people look at you or what people say about your external appearance or your thinking or your speech for them or for some people. I don't want to include everyone. Do not judge a person by his outward appearance. Do not judge a person by his clothes, hairstyle, skin color, or hair color. Do not bully him if he is a quiet person. Do not bully him if he does not like to mix with people, because you do not know what he has been through or what this person is going through. Do not bully him or speak badly about the way he eats, the way he drinks, the way he walks, or the way he speaks You can simply go and advise him if you care about his situation, but do not throw words at him and walk away. You do not know that this little bad word that you said will capture the negativity of the word in him, and for you it is nothing, but it will destroy him forever. Another thing is that not all people have the same taste or the same thinking, for example ..You do not like to eat meat, others like to eat meat. You do not like to wear tight clothes, others like to wear tight clothes. You do not like to wear accessories, others like this. So, do not judge or bully a person. Every person has tastes, has customs, has a different society, has a different family, and a different opinion, so please do not judge or bully anyone’s appearance, not his appearance, his clothes, or his way of life. You just respect everyone, and if you want to disrespect, just let everyone live as he pleases. Every person’s life is different from the other. Thank you, dear. Negative speech, even if it is just a word, makes a person devastated throughout his life and makes him feel depressed, especially from those who live around him, or it makes him feel depressed for the people who want to get to know him. He will eventually lose the desire to meet new people. He will say to himself, “I don’t want to meet new people.” I hope you respect all ideas and all people Thank you for reading, I wish you a happy life This was written from an experience and a feeling I had 


Ammar. D.B.

2024.. 

Today is April 27th. This day is the feast of the Dutch King Willem-Alexander, and on this day the Dutch people celebrate and wear orange. They practice beautiful activities, especially on this day, and they make orange-colored cakes. These are customs on this day, and there are many beautiful customs and traditions on this day. Honestly, this is my first time participating with the Dutch people on this holiday. It is beautiful and kind. I was very happy with this participation, and on this day I wish him a long and happy life. I wish this country security, peace and happiness. They are a kind people. A beautiful country and a beautiful celebration. I will always thank the Netherlands for everything. Thank you, the Netherlands You also celebrate King's Day in your place of residence

People everywhere in the Netherlands celebrate King's Day. Games and concerts are organized in most villages and towns. Many people wear orange clothes. Because the color is orange It is the color of the Dutch royal family. People also paint Dutch flags on their faces.


During King's Day, people in every big city or village sell their old things on the street. It is an imitation. Many people furnish a piece Fabric and they put old toys, old furniture, or CDs or books on it to sell. This is called the free market.

Ammar .D.B.

27 April 

NL 🇳🇱🎉🧡.

MIDDELBURG A58 halls - Podium .Emergency shelter

Today I will write about the camp in which I live. The camp is located in the city of Middleburg Middelburg is the capital of Zealand There are approximately 160 people in this camp who live here until they are recognized as beneficiaries of international protection or residency. Frankly, it is very difficult to live here. To be honest, it is better than nothing. I mean, they provided us with a place to sleep and they provide us with assistance amounting to 68.2 euros per week. In order to buy food, drink, and personal items, it is not enough, frankly, but we manage it  Also, there is a COA organization here that is responsible for us in this camp. They are very, very, very nice to us Let's talk a little about my struggles to be honest The most difficult thing here is that the place is closed. I mean, there is no system of rooms or windows for ventilation. You can see that the rooms are a container. Two people live in the front and two people in the backThe suffering I am experiencing is that I cannot breathe while I am inside the container. I mean that there is no natural oxygen, such as oxygen outside or that comes through the windows. Also, the sounds make me very shaken, especially when I go to sleep Although the camp system is a large theater and a large yard in which there are containers in which we live, there is a kitchen, there is a food court, and there is also a games yard, all of them in the same location. This thing makes the place very noisy To be honest, I suffer from snoring sounds at night, haha, it is very annoying, especially since I sleep very lightly. To be honest, from my first day in this place until today, day No. 80, I expect I have not had a comfortable sleep or a peaceful sleep. It is very difficult and for this reason I am in a psychological state and very tired. I have submitted a request to be transferred to another place. But the request was rejected and tried several times but was not approvedIt is the life of a refugee, my friends. I am a refugee. How long will I remain a refugee? I do not know. I now just want to sleep like a normal human being. Thank you.  I do not forget to thank the Dutch government for providing us with this place, health care and everything. Thank you, thank you, from Ammar, the refugee to the Netherlands. Thank you..

The stage of loss of passion, loss of physical, psychological, mental and social energy and loss of everything in this life Yes, this is the harsh stage that I am going through now. I expect many people to go through it. Unfortunately, I am going through it now. I did not expect that one day I would go through it, and I do not know how to get through it. I am trying. I hope to get through it, it is a very, very difficult stage The most difficult thing about it is that you cannot stop thinking I cannot sleep, I cannot talk to others, and I cannot eat and drink Sometimes I look at myself in the mirror and say, “You must get over this stage.” You are strong, you are brave, you are great, you are not strong, you are not alone The second day comes and I return to the same stage and return to the same place and the same thinking It is a very painful feeling. I am talking about losing the psyche. It is the most dangerous thing a person goes through. The psyche is very important. It is an important and essential element in a person’s life, but when you lose it, you lose everything. I hope to get rid of this stage and return to myself.I go back to Ammar, who had super strength, big plans, and great goals in this life

18/4/2024 ammar

Day No. 62 in the Netherlands, and I am once again far away from my family, friends, and source of hope Today is the date of March 15, 2024, the first session with the psychiatrist Extreme suffering, a tired soul, and an exhausted body. I don’t remember when I slept well. I don’t remember when I ate well. I don’t remember when my mind stopped thinking that these were tough days. It's a sensual life. I try to be strong every time, but I can't resist Being away from family and friends is very tiring, loneliness is very tiring, and thinking makes me very tired. Sometimes I look for a place to cry, but I can’t find it. Every time I am far from the one I love, I find myself lost and tired. Every time I try to create a future or a goal, I find myself lost. Every time I trust someone, I find that he humiliates me, destroys me, and breaks my feelings I never realized that one day I would wish for an empty, quiet place in order to cry and release my sadness, tears, and negative energy. I never knew one day I would have appointments with a psychiatrist I didn't realize that I would meet the psychiatrist and cry in front of him I do not know how long the situation will remain like this and how long I will remain a refugee. I do not know how long I will live with the one I love or with the one with whom I feel trustworthy. I don't know when I will settle in a place or when I will find internal security Fatigue is killing me and making me very tired. I am in my worst condition. I am broken. I long for death and I envy the dead person for losing life. I no longer have patience and I no longer have the spirit to bear this life or this difficult reality The old man envies me for my young age and does not know what I have been through and what difficult days I have lived through The old man envies me for my energy, but he does not know that I have no energy, nor does he know that I am exhausted and very tired The old man does not know that I wish I was his age in order to know that my life will end faster No one can help me except death The doctor does not know that my treatment is death. The doctor does not know that medicine and words do not help me The doctor knows nothing about what is happening inside me I thank the doctor for trying to help me, but he has no medicine. My medicine is death I'm really dying, but very, very slowly 

On this day there was an activity called walk and talk with nice Dutch people It was a wonderful and useful activity. In this activity, I learned how to introduce myself in the Dutch language and learn numbers in Dutch I learned other things when I was walking around outside the camp where I was living Of course, it was a wonderful day with my fellow volunteers at the camp and also with nice Dutch people 


Ammar 

2024. NL

One of the most beautiful things in the Netherlands is bicycles. All people here use them, young and old. Women, children and men all use bicycles. They are one of the most beautiful things in the Netherlands, especially when you are riding a bicycle. You see everyone smiling at you while driving and saying hello, hey, hey Haha, nice feeling As you drive, you see rivers, trees, beautiful vegetables, clean streets, and beautiful places. Honestly, a wonderful feeling and very nice people. Honestly, I don't make you a bicycle yet, haha But I can borrow my friend's bike while I get a new one 


AMMAR 

2024 

My first achievement and my first honor from the administration of the camp in which I live, I was honored for the volunteer work that I do at the reception center for asylum seekers in Bodel I am very happy with this honor Of course, I thank the organized movement on the ground . I also thank the COA organization They were nice all the time with us . It is a good step. I will work, advance and help this country that provided me with a helping hand I hope to do everything I can to help others, even if it is with a beautiful word or a smile . I hope this country stays safe and happy forever Thank you, the people and government of the Netherlands 




AMMAR 🙏🤍🇳🇱


12 February 2024

I miss my mother and my mother’s tenderness, I miss my mother’s food, I miss my mother’s coffee, I also miss my mother’s smell, I miss my mother’s morning, I miss my mother’s eyes, I miss my mother’s laugh, I also miss my mother screaming at me. I also miss my mother's anger when I made her angry with my actions. I also miss walking beside my mother My mother was not just a mother to me. My mother was my friend, she was my companion, and she was my support. My mother was everything to me. How much I miss you, mother. How cruel life is, mother. You were forced to leave my mother's house. I was forced to go, mother. The distance is cruel, mother. I remember when my mother used to wake up early in the morning to go to the oven and wait for hours to bring us bread. I remember how much my mother suffered to make us feel happy. I remember, mother, how much you cried and how much you suffered for our happiness, how much I miss you, mother, but the war, mother, made us far from each other. 

There will come a day when I see you, my mother, and I hug you and cry, then cry, then cry in your ribs, my mother. I am very tired, my mother, but no one cares about me like you do, my mother. The tears have drowned me, my mother. I hope you stay well, my mother, my country, my friend. Oh my love, my

After a trip that lasted 4 months After a journey that lasted 4 months of torment, illness, fatigue, sacrifice, exhaustion, risk and difficulty A new history and a dream come true 11/1/2024Finally the dream became a reality Finally, the dream became a reality. To be honest, I was late in achieving it, but the most important thing is that I achieved it. This dream may have been a simple thing for someone else, but for me it was a big dream. The dream was to leave my country, where there was war, and I could not live in peace with my family. My dream was also to go to a country that would take into account my circumstances and give me the human rights that I deserve as an ordinary person on this planet. I am now very happy. Honestly, my dream was to arrive in a country like the Netherlands. It is a beautiful country and beautiful people. What is most beautiful is that they support refugees and help them develop themselves, learn and achieve their dreams. I was amazed by the beautiful treatment and generosity. And good hospitality, frankly, greetings to the Netherlands, its people, and all those who work for the innocents who fled their country in search of safety and stability. I don't know what else to write, I will suffice for now. It was a beautiful history, a beautiful day, and a beautiful country I hope that the people live in peace and security forever I hope everyone lives in peace and security forever Thank you, ♥️Netherlands 🤍Thank you ♥️ coa 

When I put my feet in the rubber boat, I began to think: Will I die in the sea? I begin to think: Will I be bait for the fish? Will the end of my life be sitting on the shore of an island? She responded to me and told me that she must sacrifice something in order to live in dignity and security The thing I own in order to sacrifice it is my own self. I have nothing else in which I can sacrifice it. The rubber boat set off among the waves and storms while I was holding it in my hands A swimming wheel for survival if the waves overturn the boat It was a scary feeling and a good shower at the same time It's good if I reach my destination alive It would be scary if the boat crashed before we reached the shore I held myself tight, but at the end we arrived and it started to feel good here when I put my feet on the sand It was a difficult and terrifying risk. There were children and women on board the boat There are elderly people Children as young as 5 years old are all going to search for a life of safety and stability How happy they were when we arrived at the beach, not knowing what would happen next What will happen to us after that, but the most important thing is that we crossed the terrifying sea 

Ammar ......

What do you know about a person who lived alone before he knew anything about life? What do you know about a person who goes to work at the age of 10? What do you know about a person who was subjected to ill-treatment in this life? What do you know about a person who has not hugged his brother, father, mother, or sister for a decade, and time is still passing? What do you know about a person who lost his father and could not say goodbye to him or see him one last time? What do you know about a person who does not have the right to be with his family? This person fights life in order to live in peace and security This person lives to secure the lives of the rest of his family This person has a taste of the life that a normal person lives. This person is strong, not weak, but energy is expelled from him This person is me Ammar The one who tries to live a normal life, the one who did not live his childhood, the one who did not taste the taste of childhood or the taste of life, is now trying to live his youth. But until now, I have not been able to live my youth. I feel that I will live my youth like my childhood Until I get old and say, What a very bad life I did not live my childhood there nor did I live my youth there Many of you have a life like mine, I know, but sometimes there is no one to whom you can say these words, so you just write for the sake of memory. Living without family is difficult, especially without a mother. Mother means a lot and means safety and security I don't know that I will see my mother before one of us dies. I will try he passed 8 years, I don't know how much will pass. I hope you stay well, mom. That's enough   

Ammar ....

In the history of 30 9 2023  I entered Greek territory to escape the war in my country and to escape the racism that I lived for 7 years in Turkey, but when I arrived in Greek territory, I prostrated in gratitude to my Lord because I felt that I had become safe and that I had human rights. I began to sleep without worry, without thinking that I would die at the hands of a stranger, because I was Syrian, or because I spoke the mother tongue, or because I was Muslim, or because I was Arab, for example. When I put my head on the ground, prostrating, I thanked my Lord and cried very bitterly because in the last period I have been suffering a lot from the country in which I used to live. When I arrived in Greek territory, I was received by the Greek police, and with them were officials from the United Nations and human rights. When I saw them, I felt that all my le in this way, but for me, this is the first time someone has treated me like this. It was the first time in a decade that I felt like a human being. Yes. with this. I will continue the story when I complete my legal procedures  ....

It was written on 15 10 2023

thank you chios 

AMMAR 

GR🇬🇷♥️

In the history of 3/1/2024 It was the first time I got on a plane and saw the earth from the sky and the beautiful clouds. It was a very beautiful feeling. I will never forget this moment. I had been waiting for it since I was a young child, but my country did not give me the opportunity due to the war that broke out when I was 11 years old, but I migrated, I got tired, and I risked my life in the sea and the forests, and I lived through difficult days that an ordinary person cannot bear, but most importantly, I achieved this dream that I had been thinking about for 10 years. It is a beautiful feeling. I thank everyone who stood with me.He supported me and helped me. I hope that safety and happiness will spread throughout the world because safety is beautiful and life is beautiful. Finally, I thank the Greek state. I wish it and its people security and peace. 

From Ammar to everyone watching, pursue your dream, even if it costs you your life, because the place where you feel wrong must be left 

While I was sitting watching TV, one of my family members called me and told me: Your father is sick in the hospital, his condition is very critical. Things started out normal. I was a little worried and prayed for his recovery. After a few minutes, I received a voice recording from one of my brothers on WhatsApp saying, “Your father died of a sudden heart attack.” Here I was shocked, my nerves collapsed, and I started crying. I went and sent a message to my father on WhatsApp. I told him, where are you, my father? Where are you, my love? I will miss you very much, my father. Forgive me, Father. I wish your soul peace and security in heaven. I wish you a beautiful life in heaven, Father I broke down and became very upset and began to remember the beautiful moments and the days when we were together in one house. I remember when he would get angry with me and a quarrel would break out between us and we would reconcile immediately.  I remember when I used to go with him and accompany him everywhere. He was not only my father, but he was also my friend.  I began to regret the empty moments in which I did not call my father. I began to say, I wish I had spoken to you every day, father. I wish I had called you every moment, and I heard your voice and saw your face, father. I lost my temper. In the end, it is a very, very difficult feeling. Take great care of your parents. They are a blessing from God.  They are everything in this life. Have fun with them, talk to them a lot, make them happy, and give them everything they want. They are a rare thing. When you lose them, you will lose everything. Take good care of them. My father died, and I did not see him. I could not bid him a final farewell, and I could not finally look into his eyes. It is a very difficult feeling. The last time I saw my father was when I left Syria in 2017. It was the last meeting between us.

Ammar .

2022.🍀

I am a big fan of cats, and when I see him I feel very happy Especially when I touch him or feed him or shout to him and he comes as quickly as I expect they will love me too hahaha.Because when they see me they come quickly to me and I feel like they are telling me, “Come touch us, we love you too.” A beautiful and gentle creature. I love cats very much. I raised a little cat and named her Atosi We lived together for a long time, she was nice and beautiful, but someone came and stole her from my house while I was at work. I came home and shouted, Atosi, where are you? Come, I brought you food, but then I realized that Atosi was not here. I searched everywhere for her a lot and did not find her. I was very sad for her and cried a lot for her I felt guilty towards her. I lived through difficult days after losing her. I hope she lived well with the one who stole her from me. I love you, Atusi. I will never forget you. 

♥️🐈Atusi

Ammar

♥️

This was my condition when I decided to leave again to a farther place. This was my condition when I decided and was forced to leave my friends. And about my room and the streets that I was walking along, and I also realized that I would be far away from what I was. I mean, further away from my country, which was somewhat close, but unfortunately I was forced to leave It was a very difficult decision. I do not know how this risk will end or where it will end I decided to leave again after 8 years, I expect after the first departure from my home country I stayed up all night crying and thinking whether this was a good decision or just an illusion In the end, I made a decision that I hope I don't regret 

27/9/2023

Ammar

Hello my friends, this is the first time in my life that I have undergone surgery and finally the moment I have been waiting for since I was 9 years old. I had a mass in my neck next to the vein. The doctor said it was a lymphoma. He also told me that you are lucky that you came, otherwise the operation would not have been successful if he had been delayed any longer It was a very scary feeling the first time I wore surgery clothes and saw blood and hospital equipment Which produces the sound of the heart and body beating The operation lasted for two hours, but thank God it was successful and she got rid of it But not forever. The doctor said that it can grow after 5 years. I told him that I cannot guarantee my life for one year And you tell me 5 years haha Yes, it was a good feeling that I had my first surgery and it was successful 

I thank the doctor, the hospital, and my friend who was by my side the whole time in the hospital 

10/10/2022

Ammar

It was a beautiful party and a beautiful honor. At the same time, it was a difficult year. 2020. I and my friends at work were honored. It was beautiful days that we spent with each other in this company. We learned many things about each other. We learned new things about a different culture, and frankly, I took important advice from my co-workers, who were very smart and kind. I will miss you so much thank you all The Corona virus has separated us from each other, but we will return one day, my friends. I hope you are well 




Thanks LEDER TURIZM 


2020


AMMA

This is me Ammar. Here I was in Syria, Idlib. I expect it was 2016. Here I was working in the field of car maintenance. Yes. I was 15 years old. I worked very well, and my boss loved my work very much But to be honest, the fee was very low, hahaha But I was forced to work in order to support my family. These were very difficult days, but they were beautiful at the same time. I was among my family. I was eating my mother's delicious food and cooking I used to work from 8 am to 6 pm It was hard and long work for my young age, but I was very strong and could only think, but rather insisted and had patience in order to survive. About a year after this photo, I left Syria because of the war that has never subsided to this day By the way, this is my grandfather’s house where I and my family used to live. How I miss it. I have beautiful memories here. I hope to visit it before I die. 


Struggling 


Ammar 


2016


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